I <3 making out

I love kissing for a good long time with someone who can do it so softly & passionately and wonderfully. It's the best thing in the world & it makes me never want to stop. I haven't had that kind of make-out session in a long time and last night was just what I needed. Sometimes long, soft, passionate kisses are just what you need to realize how wonderful life can be. <3

Success

Success is something that I want, something that I see as being achieved, but now I am truly realizing how much effort it takes. The more successful you want to be, the more you have to shut off other things in your life that may hinder you. In order to have success, you need to focus. This is something I have a problem with. I am a daydreamer. So I spend more hours dreaming about success, then going out and working on my own success. With daydreaming comes laziness. I know I can being doing a lot more helpful things to building my success, than what I do when I spend hours daydreaming about it. But if a daydreamer feels alive already through their dreams... then what's the point of trying to get them to come to reality? Doesn't it feel like living anyway? But what if I want to move and live? But move in the direction of my pleasure, not necessarily my success? Constant instant self gratification, nothing held off or used to build my success. The question is what do I want? To be a daydreamer or a doer? A pleasure seeker or do I hold off for success?

Hello

So I haven't written a blog post in a long time. Looking back I guess I was pretty overwhelmed after moving to the city. Things were crazy and I also had a past relationship hindering my mind. Everything seems to be falling into place now. In February I really fell into the swing of things at my internship. I've become great friends with my bosses and fellow interns. We had a lot of fun going out and partying all the time. That has made working for free worth it to me this winter... so many cool parties at major photo studios all over Manhattan... and free drinks ;) It's been a blast. I've also learned so much throughout it all. Since the magazine has such a small staff, I really got to see what it takes to put a magazine together... and I was able to help hands on throughout the process. Awesomeness. This has been a great learning experience for my future career as a magazine editor in NYC ;)

On another note... everything is over with Bruce and I. I cannot believe I let that drag on for so long. I swore I'd be single for a while after his ultimate slap in my face, but of course now there is someone else. I am so totally unsure how this situation is going to play out but I do know that after hanging out with this new person, I realize what a douche bag my last boyfriend was, and now I understand why I never felt loved and was never truly happy with him. But that's a whole other blog post and to be honest, I just don't even care enough to put any more energy into thinking or writing about it. It has been a great learning experience and now I know more what I should expect from future relationships. I always settle for way less than I deserve and lie to myself when I know shit is not right. I need to not do that anymore. I'm also slowly learning about myself when it comes to relationships and hopefully I will not continue to make the same mistakes.

Soooo this new guy is actually someone that I've had a brief past with and I really cannot believe what is happening now. I'm not going to talk much about it because I'm still unsure what is going on. All I can say is... best f@ck&ng S%x in the worldddddddddddd. And very sweet, passionate... God I can't believe what I've been missing out on this whole time!!! ;oP

Rubber Ducky You're the One

I am shotttt. I cannot wait to take some Tylenol PM and go to bed. It's 5:30 and I'm already thinking about sleeping. That's because I took adderall last night and couldn't fall asleep. I was planning on working on my novel that I have tried to start writing, but I think because I don't have ADD, adderall has an opposite effect on me and gives me ADD. I'm serious! I don't even know what I did for hours and hours last night. I think I just checked my e-mail, facebook, and myspace ten thousand times, listened to Britney Spears' Circus album while creating dance routines in my head, tried on a couple outfits and cried because I am out of shape, looked for dance classes in NYC, and I don't even know what else. I just wasted hours and hours doing nothing!

Today was a good day though. I went to the gym! The closest Planet Fitness to me is in Astoria which kinda sucks, but I'm a member so I don't want to cancel my membership and find a new gym just yet. I also pampered myself with a manicure and pedicure and later I am going to take a nice hot bath. Ahhh so relaxing. Then back to work tomorrow at Resource Magazine.

I just finished my left over Thai food and it was dang tasty! My friend and I went to Thai Sesame on Smith St in Cobble Hill yesterday (I just love checking out all the restaurants on Smith Street). This was only the second time I have been to a Thai restaurant. This first place I went to was somewhere on the lower east side and I can't remember the name. That was a few months ago. Thai Sesame was okay, but my friend and I ordered curry and the sauce was very watery. It actually tasted better after microwaving it just now. Oh and they also don't have a bar, for all of you that love alcohol as much as I do. Ha, oh well! On the plus side the rice comes in the shape of a heart which is soooo cute <3 Time for my bubble bath :)

Good friends and Good tacos

Well last night was cool. I was planning on going out for Thai food with my friend after work but then my other two friends, Amelia and Ania called and wanted to hang out. Ania works in the city and Amelia lives on Long Island but had a job interview in Queens. I broke plans with my other friend (it's okay though, he understands, we hang out all the time) and I took the subway back to my apartment after work (I refuse to drive now after the towing situation). I met Amelia and Ania in Williamsburg at this cute Mexican place called Taco Chulo. They had already been drinking sangria and were a little loopy, flirting with the hot bartender. As soon as I sat down they ordered shots of Tequila. Yummy. We got margaritas and ordered tacos that were delicious. I love trying all these different restaurants in the city. So far I've had French, Japanese, Italian, Indian, Mexican and I still want to go to that Thai place I was going to go to.

Well we had fun drinking and eating at the bar and talking to the bar tender. They wanted to party in Manhattan so we went back to my apartment to get ready. I decided that I didn't want to go since I already spent so much money this week on my car, so I stayed in and said they could come back and sleepover. They came back at 5am and I had the sofa bad all set for them to sleep on. We slept in until 10 and then got up and hung around my apartment for a little bit. They told me about their night and apparently I didn't miss anything too exciting so that was okay. We went to The Bagel Store in Williamsburg and breakfast. Amelia and Ania drove back to Long Island and I'm back at my apartment now. I need to do some cleaning and I think I may head back to Long Island to do some laundry. Amelia and Ania want to see that movie Bride Wars so I may do that. We'll see...

Okay, that's all for now. I really love living in Brooklyn. I just hope my car never gets towed ever again!!

Car Trouble

So last night was quite interesting. After work I went to the Downtown Bar & Grill on Court St. right near my office. I really just wanted to have a drink and relax until my friend came to pick me up again and bring me to the tow pound. I was still in disbelief that my car had been towed again. On my way to the bar, I was walking down the street and began laughing. Earlier I had been crying like a baby, but now I was just straight up laughing. I felt like a mad woman. I was thinking about how in an hour or so my friend and I would be standing on line at the tow pound for the second night in a row. It was like deja-vu, or as my friend Jane and I would say—fucking ground hog day. I went into the bar and ordered a Captain Morgan and diet coke and jalapeno poppers. They were delicious. The bar tender was a really cool guy and we got to talking. I told him my situation and we talked about this city of survival—New York. He had just moved here four months ago to work at this bar/restaurant with his brother. He lived in an apartment upstairs. He is so lucky to be living in Cobble Hill (as long as he doesn’t have a car). Cobble Hill is such a nice area, unlike Bushwick where I live. Bushwick is still cool though and it’s right next to Williamsburg so I really cannot complain. Well anyway, I believe the bartenders name was Paul (I am so bad with names). He was telling me about how he moved here from Miami and it’s difficult for him to adjust to the cold. I really don’t blame him because it has been freezing lately!

So we talked and I also ordered some onion rings and a beer. I wasn’t sure what type of beer to order because they had such a long selection to choose from. I decided to go with a Brooklyn beer because I hadn’t had one yet. Paul let me taste it first and it was pretty good. I drank my beer and ate my onion rings and talked to my friend Maggie on the phone and told her my story of whoa. After I got off the phone I sent my friend a text to see when he would be here because it was 7:30 and I knew the place closed at 9:00. He sent me back a text saying he had gotten pulled over while speeding to come get me. I felt really bad. I decided to just remain calm and relax.

By the time I had finished my beer I had started talking to an older man who was sitting next to me and had overheard me telling my situation to the bar tender. His name was Chris and he was a manager for the college division of Barnes and Noble bookstore. We got to talking and he bought me a Belgium beer that was very tasty. We talked about literature and I told him how I was an English major in college and was planning to be a teacher until I decided I wanted to follow my true passion of writing. I told him all about how I’d love to be a magazine editor, which is why I moved to Brooklyn and am working an internship for a magazine. We also talked about the possibilities of being a travel writer and how awesome it would be. He travels a lot and he told me a little bit about some of the places he has been. I was enjoying our friendly conversation but then I knew when he was telling me that my friend won’t make it here and I should just forget about my car and stay at the bar with him—that he was flirting and trying to pick me up. I really hate when you can’t just have a friendly conversation with a guy without them trying to bring you home.

Well, my friend finally made it to come pick me up and I had to rush out of the bar so we could get to the towing company on time. I gave the older guy my number since he bought me a beer and planned on never seeing him again. I don’t even know why I bother to give my number because this usually results in a guy trying to contact me for four months until they finally get the hint. Well, this time it was a blessing in disguise because shortly after I left the bar, I got a phone call from him, saying that I had left my laptop on the chair! Ugh, how foolish of me. Well my friend and I went to the towing company and got my car for the second night in a row. I explained my story of whoa to everyone else online since I was a little tipsy now and thoroughly enjoying the ridiculous situation. After we left we had to go back to get my laptop and my friend decided to come too. When we got to the bar, Chris was still there and so was my laptop, safe and sound. He had even saved my beer that I had left half full on the bar so I finished that and was feeling tired (and not wanting this guy to make any moves) so I decided to go home. My friend tried to convince me not to drive since I had been drinking but I DID NOT want to leave my car in Cobble Hill again. If my car got towed for a third night in a row then I would have to send a proposal into the Guinness Book of World Records.

So, to make a long story short I did end up leaving my car there. Apparently I was way more tipsy then I thought because I got into my car while my friend was still standing on the sidewalk trying to convince me not to drive… I turned the key in the ignition and threw my car into reverse with the door still open, in an effort to look smooth and reverse back to where my friend was standing and tell him he was being silly and overreacting… I forgot there was a tree right behind me so as I went backwards my door hit the tree and almost got ripped off the hinges. UNBELIEVABLE. Now my door is a little weird when you open and close it. Ahh.. story of my life.

When we got back to my apartment, my friend sat me down and told me he was worried about me and that I need to be more careful. I really didn’t feel like hearing it because by this point I was just so stressed and wanted to go to bed. I guess I’ve learned a very expensive and exhausting lesson to never drive my car in downtown Brooklyn ever again (or at least until I learn to not be such an idiot).

Unbelievable

So this is un-be-lievable!!! Remember how my car got towed yesterday? And remember how I said when you think things are bad enough they CAN get worse? Well guess what? MY CAR GOT TOWED AGAIN TODAY!!! I really cannot believe it. I drove around for at least 20 minutes this morning looking for a spot. I was going to be late for work so I parked in front of a church (there were other people parked there too) and I didn't see any signs that said no parking. I wrote a little note and put it on my dash board that said "Please don't tow me... I was towed yesterday... I will move... Please call (my number)." I really had no choice because there was no other parking. I even came out to check my car an hour later and then again another hour later. Well, I guess the sheriff didn't think my note was cute because the second time I came out my car was gone!!! I was so shocked that I just broke down in tears. I saw a cop driving and I stopped him in the middle of the road and told him my situation while sobbing uncontrollably. Pretty much he told me there was nothing he could do. I called the tow company and they couldn't even understand me because I was crying so hard. Seriously, getting your car towed once is one thing... but then again less than 24 hours later! It's $185 plus a $60 ticket each time. This situation has run me up about $500!! I don't have that kind of money to dish out over parking. I am barely surviving here as is.

When I came outside they must have just towed my car because it wasn't even in the computer or at the tow pound yet. Now I have to go there again tonight. My friend is coming to my rescue for the second time except this time there is no way I am having him dish out the money. I really just cannot believe this. Of all the cars in New York City, why do they keep taking mine?! Ughh. Well I am definitely NOT driving to work anymore. I am going to have to learn how to take the subway here. This really really sucks a lot. It is such a hassle having your car in the city. It's really not bad by my apartment in Bushwick but over here in Brooklyn Heights its as congested as Manhattan. I am still in disbelief that this has happened. Right after I get out of work I am totally going to a bar and getting a drink. I feel like my stress level has gone way over the top. Between Sunday's crap, Monday night's food poisoning, and my car being towed yesterday and today, I have just about had it. But I know I gotta keep it together and stay strong... because it CAN get worse :/