Third Time's a Charm.

Well here I am again. I believe this is the third time I've attempted to create a blog. I keep erasing my posts due to shame and embarrassment of my inner thought process. It's not like I have anything spectacular to say that will leave one flabbergasted or intrigued at the least. Well maybe I do... but nothing more or less than what any other human being can say of the life they have lived thus far. We all have experiences that shape who we are and thoughts on those experiences to bring to the table... but do I really want to bring my thoughts to the table? I guess I must as a writer. If I want to have the world listen to me then I guess I have to lay my cards out in the open for all to see. We all have to start somewhere, and if it's with a silly Google blog then so be it. There is just something that makes me feel uneasy when displaying my unedited writing for the world to see. I know there are many ways to manage a blog but I can't seem to fill this space with anything other than my own personal experiences and thoughts about this life. An online diary? It makes me sick. But personally, at this point in time, I can't see any other way of going about this. I am a Leo, and all you zodiac junkies know how over dramatic us lions can be. Every time I write a blog, I go back to it and feel naked. It's like I did a drunken striptease in front of 2,000 people and the next day I watch the video and want to throw up. Luckily there is a delete button on here and I promise I will not post any videos of me stripping.

So anyway, this is the third time I am writing a blog and I'm going to try not to erase it this time. I don't know why I feel so compelled to have one. I guess I feel that if I want to be a writer then I should. So I'm not really sure what I'm going to write about here. Normally a diary for me would be like a therapeutic stream of conscious... but that's like letting the whole world into my most intimate session with a psycho-therapist. I don't want to put on a front because I'm afraid of my mind being out in the spotlight. Sometimes I feel the need to maintain a certain tone when I am blogging. The truth is, my tone will probably fluctuate just as much as my emotions, so don't be surprised if you feel like you are on a roller coaster while reading this. But who the heck is going to read this in the first place? Nobody cares but me... but isn't blogging the height of narcissism anyway?